So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
