I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
