in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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