I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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