she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
