Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
