I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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