apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
