yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
