well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
