haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Randomize
