I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.