clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just cropdusted the office
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.