well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.