"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.