Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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(630): View more from Illinois

Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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(213): View more from California

putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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(440): View more from Ohio

Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.

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(415): View more from California

How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?

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(847): View more from Illinois

On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties

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