Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...

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  (631): I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf... http://tfl.nu/qnwa
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (3663)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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  (404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af
  Replies (16) Good night (3025) Bad night (746)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (1116) Bad night (8866)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

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  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
  Replies (85) Good night (3502) Bad night (40014)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"

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  (870): Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty" http://tfl.nu/dezg
  Replies (14) Good night (1068) Bad night (4340)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar

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  (202): the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar http://tfl.nu/f2lj
  Replies (6) Good night (5054) Bad night (1450)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.

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  (805): I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly. http://tfl.nu/8ih5
  Replies (45) Good night (10000) Bad night (1292)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (3112) Bad night (660)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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  (765): so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick http://tfl.nu/orgy
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (599)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"

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  (571): Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?" http://tfl.nu/imih
  Replies (6) Good night (1743) Bad night (633)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...

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  (+44): wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay... http://tfl.nu/ag6z
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (208)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Can you rollerblade?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  No, why?

  (585): View more from New York

  Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.

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  (585): Can you rollerblade? (617): No, why? (585): Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality. http://tfl.nu/m5ec
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (337)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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  (630): The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming? http://tfl.nu/32bs
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (320)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick

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  (215): He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick http://tfl.nu/9d7z
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (420)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?

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  (207): Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/gzc0
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (405)

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