just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
