I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
