In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
