we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
