She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
