Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No subtext here. People are naked.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Drunk is not a location!
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