6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize