Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize