that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
