He kissed a someone with a penis
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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