end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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