Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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