I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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