This girl is more easily done than said...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
