THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
