At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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