you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
