Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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