If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
