We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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