You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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