I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
