the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize