Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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