Having a random hookup so left but love u
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
