you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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