dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i love accidental penises.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize