I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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