so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
