a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
