I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
