she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
