so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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