i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
