porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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