I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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