Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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