Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
