That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
