tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
