I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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