I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
