She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
