I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I still have a little drunk in my system
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
