So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
