He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
