He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
