Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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