i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
