So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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