I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
