i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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