Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
