Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is it penis luge time yet?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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