I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize